Aug. 14th, 2017


Aug. 14th, 2017 01:31 am
expressdawn: (Kam)
So... A lot happened tonight. /Last night/whatever- I'm writing this at 0132 so it's. I don't really know. It's early

It started out with Driver's Ed. Had a good time and all that, and then we came home. Not long after I got really shakey and panicky and no one knew what was going on.

I started looking around and found out that the person panicking was Sparky, our 3 year old system member that I found out existed recently.
He holds memories from the car crash.

Lucio told our friend that, and friend asked him something about the shards that we had. I guess he was supposed to deal with them along with Tori?

Lucio messed with them a bit and then we figured out what they were.

They were fragments from Beatrice, our persecutor, the person that we were thinking was the original instead of me.

So yeah. That settles it. Tris is the original

Here's a timeline that I'm thinking of:

2-ish: Toriel forms. Holds memories from when we were that age; just a couple
3-ish: Accident, things fracture some, Tris is still front and steady. Just dropped some stuff along the way bc Brain Development stuff??
6-ish: CSA happens; more fracturing and me and Tris start to separate. Rae forms. Tris handles some of the trauma memories but I maybe am more in front now?
8-10: Bullying. Rodney, Lucio and 4N4 form at the least. Tris finally breaks and there I am
8-10+?: Rodney does what he does to Tori and that shatters her further and makes her into who she is now. I'm still main fronter and am the bundle of necessary memories/fragments?

Idk that's the best I've got. Seems to match up with other memories and things people have told us?
My family always said that we were different after about age 8, and I always thought it was bc we were bullied then but the thing is... Bullying might have been the overlying cause but we also fractured then

Everyone's memory of Tris before Rodney is that she was a lot like me but more stable and stuff. I think Alice is who Tris used to be: that more caring and soft person, though she's more shy I think. Tris retained her social-butterfly thing I think

It's... Weird, and I don't think I like it, but maybe this is it
I guess this is what the answer to all the worrying was, or something

It's. It's something ig



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